Adopting from Korea
Information with Attitude"
Eight years ago, on New Year's Eve 1997, I sat down and began
writing what eventually became adoptkorea.com. We were waiting for
"the call" to tell us our son, Spencer, was ready to come home, and
I really needed a place to focus my energies while we endured the
Since that time, the site and I -- as a parent, adoption
advocate, and web architect - have grown and matured. I thought it
was time for a major update of a site that so many families have
come to rely on for current and reliable information.
My intention is the same now as it was in 1997, to help you
navigate some of the adoption journey with a little more ease,
comfort and confidence. I look forward to hearing your suggestions
And feel free to visit my new
"Adopting from Korea
MomBlog" for additional musings and mumblings on things
adoption, cultural, parenting, and anything else that appeals to me
at the time.
Considering the Adoption Option
Our family turned to adoption after suffering through several
miscarriages after the birth of our first daughter in 1992. In 1997, at
ages 42, my husband and I were facing biological realities. My eggs
weren't getting any younger and our energy levels weren't going to
appreciably increase any time soon.
How many more disappointments could we stand? Were we willing to
go the high-tech route knowing there were no guaranteed positive
outcomes? Did we want to remain a one-child family? Lots of
questions. Lots of soul-searching. And many nights of serious
More and more adoption seemed the right way for us to go.
And so we began to seek out information. A friend of mine was
active in the adoption community having adopted twin boys several
years ago. So I called her up and asked her, "How do I start this
ball rolling?" From that question began a process that has been
maddening and exciting, tiresome and yes, expensive (but a whole
bunch of money less than personally-paid infertility treatment.)
More on that later.
Of course, not everyone comes to choose adoption after dealing
with infertility. We did, although adoption was always "on the
table" for us as a family. (I'm only sorry we waited as long as we
did before deciding to adopt.) For others, it's the only choice for
But however you come to choose adoption as the way of starting or
adding to your family, it's important to note that the decision to
adopt needs to be framed in terms of the child's needs, not your
own. Sure, you want a child to love and that's great. But when a
child becomes available for adoption, it means that child has
already sustained a loss or a series of losses. That child will have
a family and a history apart from yours.
You can't wish it away nor should you. And love won't necessarily
be enough when the tough questions come - and they will, in time,
When you can acknowledge and embrace the totality of the child
who will join your life by adoption, then you're truly ready to
begin the process of adopting a child.
By no means final nor complete, this site is designed to answer
some of your questions, help you find useful information, and hold
your hand a little as you go along. I've included as many
informative links as I could as well as other information I found
especially helpful. Check back as I update this site often.
Oh, and just so you know... I've written this from a couple's
perspective since Korea doesn't allow for single person adoptions.
But there are many countries who welcome singles. So please ignore
my use of we and us and references to spouses where appropriate.
And drop me a line if you find particularly informative links or
find some of mine need updating, let me know. My goal is to develop
a current site that prospective and current adoptive parents can use
Thank you for coming by! Please check back often because this is
a site that's always in progress.
So let's get
started, shall we?